


battle cry

by nepranus



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Kaneki, Canon Compliant, Coffee, Fingering, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Minor Swearing, Outdoor Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, coffee as lube, don’t ask, i mean there’s a little angst but, innocent kuroneki before all that shit happened, sort of sad ending oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:41:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nepranus/pseuds/nepranus
Summary: Hide buys Kaneki coffee, and he might be a little bit more gay for his best friend than he previously anticipated.





	battle cry

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first fic on ao3 (but certainly not my first time on the site, this place is basically my second home). i decided to upload this hidekane fic i wrote about a year ago because it’s like the only decent thing i have finished. oops.
> 
> disclaimer: when i wrote this, i had almost no knowledge of the series at all (i had seen the first season a while ago, that’s it). i’m way more caught up with the manga now, so forgive me for the OOC and just general unrealistic aspects.
> 
> enjoy!

Kaneki was looking at him. His eye that wasn’t covered by his eyepatch was staring directly at Hide, relentless and overwhelming, making Hide think, for not the first time that week, that Kaneki’s non-kakugan eye might actually be more intimidating than the one that turned pitch black and glowed red. He was still in his Anteiku uniform – Hide had dragged him with him immediately after work – and he was fiddling with his collar, though his gaze never left Hide. His head was slightly tilted in confusion, some of his hair caught in the strings of his eyepatch, the rising steam from the coffee Hide had bought him making his face lightly flushed.

“So, um,” Kaneki started, his voice steady but perplexed, “why exactly did you bring me here?” He glanced around at the placement of buildings, trees, and tables around them. “You know there are no classes today, right?”

Right, Hide thought to himself, that. He’d almost forgotten that it must have seemed weird to Kaneki that Hide dragged him to their college – Hide’s college, now – on a day when classes were cancelled for some event downtown and next to nobody was on campus.

“Yeah, I know,” Hide answered. “But we haven’t properly hung out in a while, and your place sucks.” He grinned. “It’s much nicer here. Plus, there’s cheap coffee.”

That was true – the school café gave student discounts to regulars. Hide had paid for Kaneki’s coffee mostly because he didn’t like being reminded that Kaneki wouldn’t get the student discount anymore.

Kaneki smiled, but like all of Kaneki’s smiles those days, Hide knew it wasn’t happy. He had always loved Kaneki’s smiles, so much, no matter if it was because he had found a new book to read, or his burger was cooked just right at Big Girl, or he was laughing at some stupid joke Hide told – Hide loved Kaneki’s smiles more than anything in the world. But now, though it seemed like nothing was wrong on the surface, Hide knew that Kaneki wasn’t happy on the inside; and because of it, his smiles no longer radiated with the warmth that made Hide’s heart beat out of his chest. He knew the reason, and it hurt him to see Kaneki in such pain all because fate decided to play with his happiness.

Hide noticed Kaneki was still playing with his collar. “Sorry I didn’t give you a chance to change,” he said, “but I know you would’ve just holed up in your room if I let you.”

Kaneki looked down at his uniform, and realized his hand was twisting up his collar, because he let it fall. He seemed like he didn’t know what to say, so Hide added, “Though, as your best friend and fashion critique, I have to say it looks really cute on you.”

Kaneki looked up at Hide, clearly startled. His cheeks were dusted with pink as he replied, “Um, thanks. But I really wouldn’t call the person who wears the same jacket and headphones everyday my fashion critique.”

“Hey!” Hide exclaimed, and Kaneki suppressed a laugh. “You don’t understand the power of the jacket-headphone combination, man. It makes me look super cool. You’re just jealous.”

“Maybe, Hide,” Kaneki said. “Maybe.”

“Huh? What do you mean maybe?”

It felt so good, Hide thought, as they fell into familiar banter, talking with Kaneki like that again. He desperately missed the days when Kaneki would be settled down under his favorite campus tree, with a book so thick it was overwhelming, and Hide would be begging for Kaneki to talk to him, rubbing his head against Kaneki’s shoulder, pressing up against his back, all in an attempt to get Kaneki to say something – and Kaneki would always look up, say, “I’m reading,” then look back down. And that always stopped Hide for a moment, because he could see the affection in Kaneki’s eyes, even when Hide was being so irritating. It was one of the things Hide loved most about Kaneki – how sweet he was, how adorable, how passionate he was about books and everything Hide could never understand as well as Kaneki did. Kaneki was still that person, of course, but different; Hide supposed that was only natural for what Kaneki had to go through.

The day Hide caught Kaneki, the day Hide confirmed his suspicions of who Kaneki really was, he expected himself to at least be a little scared – but somehow, he wasn’t. Throughout Kaneki’s entire explanation of what happened and what he had done, Hide never felt frightened once, nor did he feel disgusted, or angry, or confused. He could only feel relieved, relieved that even though something so horrible had happened to Kaneki, he was still Kaneki, and he was alive. Hide decided then, on that day when Kaneki made him swear to never tell another soul he knew that Kaneki was a ghoul, that he would always stay by Kaneki’s side, no matter what happened. No matter what Kaneki did, no matter what he ate, no matter who he would become. Hide would be Kaneki’s best friend through it all. 

But some part of Hide, the selfish part deep within his heart, still wanted the old Kaneki to come back home.

“I was so surprised back then,” Kaneki was saying. “I never thought anyone would want to be my friend. But then you came along, and surprised me more than anyone had in a long time.”

Hide grinned. “I was surprised you even responded when I approached you. You were such a bookworm. And actually, nothing’s changed.”

“Books aren’t evil, you know,” Kaneki said, though they both knew it was in vain to tell Hide that. “You should try them sometime.”

“Sure,” Hide answered, “right after I get a girlfriend.”

Hide didn’t know if it was the flicker of sadness that crossed over Kaneki’s face, or the coffee, or something else, but suddenly found himself saying something he thought he had agreed he’d keep to himself a long time ago.

“But I’ve been thinking,” Hide said, “maybe I don’t really need a girlfriend. I’ve got you, after all. You’re better than any girlfriend, Kaneki.”

Kaneki’s eyes widened, his face going red. It looked like to Hide that Kaneki was trying to decide if that was a joke or not, because he kept starting to say something, then stopping before anything actually came out of his mouth. Hide’s head was jumbled, and in the midst of cursing himself for saying something so completely embarrassing, he noticed just how cute Kaneki looked while he was blushing. Had he always been that cute?

“Hide,” Kaneki said, and it was his voice that sent Hide over the edge.

Without thinking, Hide leaned forward and kissed him.

Kaneki’s lips tasted like coffee and a faint trace of blood. Strangely, the iron taste didn’t repulse Hide – it was just odd, like he was licking metal. He kissed Kaneki anyway, despite the metallic taste, deeper and deeper, falling more and more into the odd combination of flavors. He licked Kaneki’s lips – the coffee flavor was strongest there – and Kaneki responded by taking his tongue into his mouth. Kaneki’s tongue and teeth were stained with that blood taste, a reminder of who Kaneki really was, but Hide didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but tasting Kaneki more, feeling Kaneki more, so much it made his head spin. 

Kaneki touched Hide’s shoulders and gently pushed him away, sitting back. His face was completely red, his breathing heavy, his hair messed up (Hide hadn’t even realized he’d been pulling on Kaneki’s hair). He looked beautiful.

“Hide…” Kaneki breathed. “I-I can’t…” He looked down, blushing even harder, and his voice was so quiet Hide was surprised he could hear it. “It’s too hard to, um, control myself.”

Hide’s heart was pounding so fast, he could barely register the words. “It’s okay,” he said, still slightly breathless, “I trust you.”

Kaneki still wouldn’t look at him. “You shouldn’t.” His voice was a whisper.

“I do.” Hide put as much emphasis on his words as he could, but Kaneki didn’t say anything.  
“Kaneki.”

Kaneki glanced up, only for a second, and Hide took that as his opportunity.

Hide faintly registered his coffee spilling all over the table as he grabbed Kaneki by the collar, leaned over the table so his stomach was flat against the surface now stained with his drink, and shoved his mouth onto Kaneki’s in a sloppy and uncoordinated kiss. Kaneki let out a faint oomf! sound at the contact, and he was still. But Hide continued to kiss him, as hard as he could, pausing every so often to whisper “I trust you” against his lips. He whispered those words over and over, kissed him over and over, and promised himself he wouldn’t stop until Kaneki kissed him back. He bit Kaneki’s lower lip, taking it between his teeth and sucking, licking off every ounce of that coffee flavor –

And then, timidly, as if he were unsure of himself, Kaneki pressed back, moved his mouth against Hide’s tongue and tilted his head. Hide could feel him shaking, so he reached out and held Kaneki’s shoulders – partly as a way to stop the shaking, and partly as a reminder that Hide would support him no matter what, and there was no reason for Kaneki to be afraid, especially not of himself. He kissed him properly, gently pressing their lips together, and Kaneki kissed back, though his tongue was completely still – Hide figured it was easier for him that way. A nimble hand found the side of Hide’s face, Kaneki’s fingers brushing over his skin with a fragility that made it seem like Kaneki was touching Hide for the first time in his life. And he was, in way – they had never touched this way before, though Hide had thought about it plenty. Kissing Kaneki was softer than he’d imagined, and more powerful, but Hide certainly wasn’t complaining.

His lips tingled as he pulled away; Kaneki’s hand was still on his face. Both of their chests were rising and falling with each heavy breath, Hide’s face now as flushed as Kaneki’s. Hide began opening his mouth to say something, but Kaneki beat him to it.

“That position can’t be very comfortable, Hide,” he said. It was then that Hide remembered the slight pain of the table edge digging into his thighs and the front of his shirt soaked through with coffee. He hadn’t even noticed before; he was much too preoccupied with kissing his best friend to give it any thought.

“You’re right, it isn’t.” It was difficult for Hide to keep his voice steady when his heart was beating so fast. “We’ll just have to change positions, then.”

Not having any idea what he was doing (but trying to pretend like he did), Hide proceeded to sit back down – and pulled Kaneki with him. Kaneki fell forward, ending up in the same spot Hide had been in, only, a little farther across the table so his feet didn’t touch the ground. Kaneki’s eye was wide in surprise, but after several seconds, he got the hint and crawled over the table where Hide was waiting to pull him onto his lap.

Kaneki draped his arms around Hide’s neck as he leaned forward to kiss him again; Hide met him halfway. The kiss had much more force that time, with Kaneki pressing his lips to the other’s as hard as Hide was. Kaneki’s arms felt hot against Hide’s neck and shoulders, even through the material of his jacket. Hide let his own hands touch Kaneki’s face, tracing over his jawline, his ears, the string of his eyepatch tied there. He pulled at that string, loosening it, slipping it off the back of Kaneki’ head; but before he could discard the eyepatch completely, Kaneki jerked his head away from Hide’s mouth and clapped a hand over the material covering his left eye.

“W-what are you doing?” Kaneki exclaimed. His lips were shining.

“I’m taking off your eyepatch,” Hide answered simply. “I want to see your eye.”

The arm that wasn’t used in covering his eye was still clutching Hide’s shoulder. “Well I don’t want you to see it,” Kaneki said, attempting to sound firm. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Kaneki.” Hide grabbed Kaneki’s hand on his shoulder and brought it to his mouth, kissing his palm. Kaneki’s breath hitched, his face flushing – he blushed so easily – as Hide then took two of Kaneki’s fingers into his mouth and dragged his tongue over them in the most sensual way he could. It seemed to have an effect, as Kaneki let out a little gasp and his grip on his eyepatch faltered. Hide took that chance to pull both Kaneki’s hand and the eyepatch he was clutching away from his eye, revealing his kakugan. His pupil was a burning red, the white of his eye now a dark black, reminding Hide of ravenous flames ripping through a forest late at night. 

Kaneki, pulling his fingers out from Hide’s mouth, looked completely embarrassed, but he didn’t have any reason to be. The more Hide looked at his kakugan, the more he couldn’t deny that it was kind of hot, the hungry glint in Kaneki’s eye that was directed towards him.  
Kaneki squirmed under Hide’s gaze, snapping Hide back to reality. “Dude,” he said, kissing Kaneki’s hand again, “I seriously love your eye.” Hide hoped Kaneki would feel less uncomfortable if he reminded him that Hide would never, ever not love any part of Kaneki.

“Hide!” Kaneki blushed and looked down. “Don’t just say stuff like that.”

Hide drifted his head forward, tilting Kaneki’s face up when they were centimeters apart. He stared directly into Kaneki’s stupidly gorgeous eyes and whispered, “Why? You don’t like it?”

Kaneki exhaled sharply. “Hide,” he breathed, and then they were kissing again, and Kaneki was the one using tongue, instead of the other way around. Hide’s heart was absolutely pounding, so much he was afraid it would explode any moment. Kaneki was licking into his mouth, sucking on his tongue and lips, all while breathing heavily through his nose. When he pulled away for a better breath of air, Hide’s still-tingling lips found their way to Kaneki’s neck. He loosened Kaneki’s tie in order to pull down his collar so he had more access to that beautiful, smooth skin. Kaneki made a sound like a moan and clutched Hide’s hair as Hide bit marks along the side of his neck and jawline, then dragged his tongue along the targeted skin to soothe it. He found a spot just under Kaneki’s ear to suck at, leaving a hickey that could be covered up by his hair, if he so chose – but Kaneki would know it was there, and he would know that Hide had left it. Hide wanted Kaneki to know that what they were doing, it wasn’t a one-time thing. His heart wouldn’t allow it. The second their lips had touched, Hide was Kaneki’s and Kaneki was Hide’s.

Hide, pulling Kaneki’s collar down further, focused on his collarbone. At the same time, his hands moved to start at Kaneki’s waist and gradually dip lower, lower, lower until Hide was grasping Kaneki’s ass, squeezing it, but not hard enough to hurt. Kaneki squeaked – actually squeaked – and when Hide looked up, he seemed as if he wanted to say something, but couldn’t; so Kaneki kissed him, ferociously, but Hide didn’t let go of his ass. He liked the way it felt in his hands, how soft it was even under his clothing, how it clenched at his touch. Kaneki, despite his squirming, didn’t push Hide away; he instead leaned into him, pressing their chests together, their lips still in a tight lock. When they pulled away, a trail of saliva still connected their mouths.

“You’re turning me on, dude,” Hide whispered, not sure why he was whispering when there was no one around to hear him. “Stop before I do something a man shouldn’t do to his best friend.”

Kaneki’s breaths warmed his face. “You’re the one groping my butt.”

Hide’s face twitched into a smile as he looked up at Kaneki. “Because you have a nice butt.” He gave said butt an extra squeeze at that, drawing a gasp from Kaneki, who in turn tried to limit Hide’s access by pressing down into Hide’s thighs – and a bit higher.

It was Hide’s turn to gasp as Kaneki unintentionally rubbed his crotch against Hide’s, divided by clothing, but still enough to make Hide feel his pants tighten. Kaneki clearly felt it too, as he buried his face into Hide’s shoulder, lightly biting down on the skin through the jacket. Hide tried another experimental rub, using his grasp on Kaneki’s ass to push their growing erections together again. Kaneki moaned, full-on moaned, and the sound fell hot against Hide’s ear; that certainly didn’t make Hide’s hard-on any better. He desperately wanted to hear that moan again, falling from Kaneki’s mouth like a broken melody, his gasps and whispers swirling around them like mist. Hide’s mind was slowly being taken over by desire, to the point where it was getting difficult to control himself. He wanted – needed – more, and he hoped Kaneki did, too.

Kaneki bit Hide’s shoulder as Hide grinded against him, and Hide soon felt a drop of blood prick up from where Kaneki’s teeth dug in. The wound was shallow – if there was even enough blood to even be considered a wound – but the most surprising part of it all was that Hide found that he actually didn’t mind all that much. He trusted Kaneki with his life, so he was willing to let him have a few tastes here and there. God, he was turning into a masochist.

As soon as Hide felt that first drop of blood, Kaneki’s head snapped up, and Hide’s stomach dropped at the expression on Kaneki’s face. He looked absolutely horrified, scared, concerned, and heartbreakingly guilty all at the same time, his eyes wide (his kakugan was no longer visible) and hands trembling on Hide’s shoulders like a glass about to fall off a table and break. Hide could almost see the festering pain building up in Kaneki’s eyes, see his expression cracking to reveal all the doubt and fear and darkness hidden underneath. It broke Hide’s heart, to see Kaneki look like that – and ever since Kaneki’s began to store away that doubt and fear and darkness, Hide’s heart had been doing nothing but breaking. He wasn’t sure how many times he could repair it before it couldn’t be fixed.

“Hide, I-I,” Kaneki stuttered, “I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to but it just felt so good that I couldn’t stop myself a-and now it’s my fault that you’re hurt, I am so sorry I knew this was a bad idea, I shouldn’t have let this happen I-“ Kaneki seemed to choke on his words. “I’m sorry.” And before Hide could react, Kaneki had already put one foot on the ground in an attempt to leave.

Hide’s broken heart pounded. “Kaneki,” he said, grabbing Kaneki’s wrist before he could stand up and forcing him to look at him. “You are my best friend. You don’t have to apologize for anything. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you will always be,” he pulled Kaneki closer, so that their faces were so close Kaneki’s eyes seemed blurred, “my best friend.”

Kaneki looked away, his wrist still in Hide’s grip. “I’m sorry, Hide. But you don’t understand what I’m like now. You don’t want this.”

“I do want this.” Hide used his free hand to turn Kaneki’s face back towards him, wrapping his fingers gently around his chin. “Seriously. How many times am I gonna have to say it?”

He kissed him then, molding their lips together with a softness and gentleness, soothing Kaneki’s mouth with his tongue, breaking away and then going back in with little pants, until he felt Kaneki relax, just a tiny bit, so little it was barely noticeable. He released Kaneki’s wrist from his hold, focusing on brushing Kaneki’s chin and face with his touch in another effort to show Kaneki that this is alright, we’re going to be okay. When Kaneki didn’t resist, he took that as a sign to continue, so he lowered his hands slowly, inch-by-inch, until they were resting on Kaneki’s tie and beginning to loosen it. 

“Stop!” Kaneki caught Hide’s hand as he was working to undo Kaneki’s tie, pulling away from his mouth with shining lips. “Stop,” Kaneki repeated, softer this time, and the look in his eyes made Hide feel like someone was repeatedly stabbing his chest with the sharpest knife they could find. “I might hurt you again.”

“You won’t hurt me,” Hide said, and the look of protest on Kaneki’s face was no surprise. 

“But if you do,” he continued, before Kaneki could interrupt, “I’m allowed to hurt you back. Deal?”

As proof of his promise, Hide pushed down – hard – through Kaneki’s clothes, where he knew a sensitive nipple was waiting. Kaneki gasped, his eye returning to its fiery state, which Hide admittedly missed. He pushed harder into Kaneki’s skin, though it was challenging through all the material, until Kaneki gasped out, “Deal.”

It was impressive how quickly Hide managed to get hard again, and judging by bulge in Kaneki’s pants, he was in the same situation. Kaneki had settled himself down into Hide’s lap again and was returning his fierce kiss as Hide resumed work on Kaneki’s tie. When he got in undone, he let it fall around Kaneki’s neck, slipping onto their laps, but quickly getting pushed to the ground from Hide’s attempt at grinding and Kaneki’s willingness to return the favor. With the tie gone, it made unbuttoning Kaneki’s shirt an easy task, easy enough that Hide could do it without breaking the kiss. He unbuttoned Kaneki’s vest as well, feeling it fall limp at Kaneki’s sides, quickly followed by his shirt.

Hide, despite not wanting the feel of Kaneki’s lips to end, pulled away to stare at Kaneki’s smooth chest. He had seen Kaneki shirtless before, but that was a while ago, back when they’d just graduated from high school. Now, Kaneki’s abdomen was skinny and taut, the faint outline of muscle definition in his stomach (which Hide had certainly not been expecting; being a ghoul did have its perks). His hips were sharp and defined, curving into his V-line, his nipples were pink and perky – and whether it was from their make-out session or not, he couldn’t tell.

Kaneki, though he looked embarrassed, didn’t say anything when Hide ran his hands along his chest, feeling how warm it was and outlining his muscle with his fingers. Just before he reached the area below Kaneki’s bellybutton, he moved his hands up to take Kaneki’s nipples between his fingers, rubbing them gently. Kaneki inhaled sharply, letting his head fall on Hide’s shoulder. Hide’s mouth found Kaneki’s skin as he played with his nipples, licking stripes over his collar bone. Kaneki moaned softly, his grip on Hide’s arms tightening.

“You’re much more in-shape than you look,” Hide murmured in Kaneki’s ear.

“Shut up,” was all Kaneki said.

Hide’s dick twitched merely at the sound of Kaneki’s voice, low and husky, his words breathed out and rushed. His voice had always sounded so meek, so frail, like Kaneki himself – and Hide loved that part of him, but he’d always wished that Kaneki could be comfortable with himself. But – he couldn’t deny that some part of him, a part buried deep in his mind, wanted to break down that voice even further, break it so Kaneki could only preach his name in that husky, breathy voice. The desire to hear more, fueled by his overwhelming desire to just have Kaneki, only fed his state of arousal. As much as Hide loved devouring that sweet skin of Kaneki’s, he was getting impatient fast.

In a moment of confidence, Hide let go of Kaneki’s nipples to palm Kaneki’s erection through his pants, only giving Kaneki time to gasp before he started undoing the button on said pants. Hide made sure to keep his hand on Kaneki’s dick to stop any protests while he pulled down his pants, bunching them around his ankles. All that was left between Hide and Kaneki’s cock was a thin pair of boxers.

“Kaneki.” Hide whispered, and Kaneki picked his head up from Hide’s shoulder to look at him. Hide stared at his eyes, one white and one black. “Are you sure you want to do this?”  
Hide spoke in a low voice. “If I start, there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to stop myself.”

Hide nearly held his breath waiting for Kaneki’s response. His cock was throbbing, the need to have all of his best friend dominating him, but even despite that, Hide never wanted to be the kind of guy who forced himself onto someone who isn’t willing, especially if that person is incredibly special to him. Even though he’d been trying to persuade Kaneki into continuing whatever-they-were-doing, he wanted to be completely sure that he wasn’t forcing Kaneki into it. His dick hated him for it, but he could deal that. Kaneki was more important.

“You’re saying that now?” Kaneki looked like he wanted to laugh, but decided against it. “No, Hide, I’m not sure,” he said, his voice soft. “I’m still terrified of hurting you, terrified of myself. But your persistence is making it clear that you’re difficult to hurt.”

Hide’s heart, in that moment, must have bought a trampoline and then proceeded to try every trick it could think of, because Hide was pretty sure that he could literally feel his heart doing backflips. It throbbed at how completely wrong Kaneki was, how he was so oblivious to what was going on under the surface and only saw the strong Hide on the outside; and Hide, in all of his insanity, loved Kaneki for being that dense, for realizing that Hide was never going to give up on him no matter what. He wasn’t sure how his heart was handling both the pain of Kaneki’s unawareness towards his feelings on the inside and the love for Kaneki’s awareness towards his feelings on the outside.

“You’re damn right.” Hide smiled crookedly. “Dork.”

“Shut up,” Kaneki said again, taking Hide’s wrists and shoving his hands back onto his boxers. Hide took that as an invitation; he looped the waist band around his fingers and pulled, revealing, with a bit of friction, Kaneki’s dick.

When it came to romance, Hide had always been a simple guy. He’d occasionally see a hot girl somewhere, think about making out with her for a while, then move on to waiting for the next one to picture himself with. He, despite being pretty outgoing, never really had the guts to ask any girl he was attracted to on a serious date; he’d always been the flirty, quirky kind of person who really just pined in secret for a committed relationship he would never have with that beautiful girl he saw on the street that one time. But now, when he was farther than he had ever gotten with any girl, Hide decided right then and there that he must be somewhere in the vicinity of bisexual or pansexual or something along those lines, because there was no denying that he had never been so attracted to someone – a male someone – in his entire life.

The secret pining he had for Kaneki – a pining he had always brushed off as a simple crush that would go away – was stronger than anything he’d ever felt, especially now. Looking at Kaneki’s dick, big and flushed and hard, he felt so turned on that he wanted nothing more than to take that dick into his mouth, and taste it and feel it and lick it until his tongue was sore and he was gagging.

Kaneki made a noise, and Hide was jerked out of his thoughts, looking up at his face. He looked completely embarrassed – which was understandable – though his kakugan was burning brighter than ever. “Don’t just stare at it,” he half-muttered. “It’s embarrassing.”  
Hide was aware of how red his face was as he replied, attempting to sound smug, “Then what do you suggest I do?”

He made a move to wrap his hands around the dick in front of him, but Kaneki grabbed his hands to stop him before he could. “No,” he said, and Hide shot him a look of confusion. “I don’t want to be the only one naked,” he continued. “You haven’t even taken off your headphones.”

Hide, who was already impatient, quickly took the orange headphones from around his neck and gently set them on the table. “There,” he said, “satisfied?”

Kaneki frowned. “No.”

“What else do you – “ Hide was interrupted mid-sentence when Kaneki forcefully reconnected their lips, readjusting his position on Hide’s lap. He began slipping Hide’s jacket off his shoulders, making sure to continue distracting Hide with his sensual tongue techniques; yes, they had to be called techniques, Hide thought in a daze. When Kaneki finished with his jacket, he threw it to the side, and Hide winced when he heard land somewhere on the ground, but he couldn’t bring himself to break the kiss just to make sure it was okay.

“Now,” Kaneki breathed, licking Hide’s tongue once last time before leaning back, “I need you to help get your shirt off.”

Hide couldn’t deny that he liked Kaneki’s sudden burst of confidence, though it surprised him. And from the looks of it, judging by Kaneki’s insane blush and the way his eyes would self-consciously flick down, it had surprised Kaneki, too.

Hide quickly kissed Kaneki and smiled, then grabbed the ends of his coffee-stained shirt and pulled it over his head. Kaneki’s blush only deepened as he let his eyes fall on Hide’s bare chest. Hide knew he wasn’t buff, not by any stretch of the imagination, and Kaneki’s transformation into a ghoul had given him much more body strength than him. But despite Hide’s lack of muscle, Kaneki touched Hide’s chest and murmured, “You’re beautiful, Hide.”

Hide felt his face heat up, and his heart pounded a beat extra hard. “Not as beautiful as you,” he managed to say.

“That was cheesy.” Kaneki held back a laugh.

Hide smiled. “Look who’s talking.”

Kaneki threw Hide a small smile back, then restarted the kiss. He let his hands find the waist of Hide’s pants as he did so, tugging until he got them over his knees; he then abandoned them to grasp the material of Hide’s boxers, and Hide only had to give a Kaneki a look to let him know it was okay to pull them down as well.

There was no other way to put it – Kaneki stared. Hide suddenly understood how Kaneki felt when he had stared, because no matter how confident a person you were, there was just something embarrassing about a person staring at your dick, especially when said dick was almost completely hard before they’d even done anything yet.

“Who’s the one staring now?” Hide teased, in an attempt to relieve some of the embarrassment.

Kaneki frowned again, but his eyes were shining with affection. “Seriously, shut up.”  
Hide brought his face close to Kaneki’s, so that he could see every detail in his eyes. He noticed that Kaneki’s eyes had a similar color to that of a dull coffee with cream, and he couldn’t help but think that it was funnily fitting. “I don’t see you doing anything about it,” Hide murmured.

Before Kaneki could reply, Hide grabbed a hold of Kaneki’s hips and pulled him forward on his lap, so their cocks pushed against each other, the heads rubbing with a new kind of sensual friction Hide didn’t think was possible. They both moaned (it was more like a gasp that turned into a moan, if Hide really thought about it; it couldn’t have been good for their throats) at the same time with a volume that made Hide thankful no one was on campus. Their faces were still close enough that they could feel the other’s breath while still looking into each other’s eyes, and that somehow made the whole affair even more intimate. Hide was certainly discovering new things about himself way too fast; in only a matter of minutes, he learned that he was not only not straight, but he also extremely loved the feeling of a dick against his own, which made him even harder. He made a mental note to himself to look up gay porn later to test out if that turned him on as well.

Hide, most likely in the heat of the moment, reached down to wrap his hand around their dicks still pressed against the other, and began to run his hand along them in even strokes, feeling how nice Kaneki’s dick felt under his fingers. Kaneki let out a string of moans and words that Hide couldn’t understand, his head falling forward so their foreheads were touching. Hide himself couldn’t hold back his moans of pleasure, and joined Kaneki in harmonizing into the air. He felt his eyes close, just taking in the sound of Kaneki, of his hand against their skin, of his own fast breaths –

“W-wait…Hide…ah – “ Hide’s eyes opened at the sound of Kaneki’s voice. Kaneki looking back at him, his face contorted in pleasure. “Wait,” he breathed, “I-I’m…hnn… going to…”  
As a result of the brain-numbing sensation he was feeling, it took Hide a few seconds to realize what Kaneki meant. When he did, he forced himself to stop his hand, though his dick still tingled.

“Sorry,” he apologized, painfully aware of how hard he was. “I got carried away.”

“It’s okay,” Kaneki answered. “I just don’t want this to end yet. I –“ he looked away and blushed madly. “I, um, want more than just your h-hand.”

When it dawned on Hide what Kaneki was implying, he felt his dick twitch at the same time his heart skipped not just a beat, but two or maybe three, if that was possible. The thought had certainly crossed his mind a number of times ever since they began whatever-they-were-doing, but Hide had never expected to Kaneki to actually want to have sex with him. It was incredible how Kaneki had switched from I’m going to hurt you I should just leave this was a bad idea to I want your dick in my ass in only a matter of minutes. Well – Hide certainly wasn’t going to complain.

Hide grinned, gently touching Kaneki’s chin and guiding him to look at him; he wanted to reassure Kaneki that there was no part of Hide that didn’t want him. “Your wish is my command,” he said, staring into those mismatched eyes that seemed to put him under a deeper spell every time they looked at him. Kaneki was absolutely adorable, his face round and soft but somehow sharp and endearing at the same time, with his dorky haircut but elegant and captivating smile. The thing that surprised Hide the most about the situation was the fact that Kaneki had never done something like this before, even with how charming he was. Hide just couldn’t understand how someone else hadn’t already snatched up the precious person in front of him.

Kaneki blushed even harder at Hide’s response. “Don’t just say it so casually,” he said, burying his head into Hide’s shoulder. 

Hide had to chuckle at that. “How else do you want me to say it?”

Kaneki didn’t respond, so Hide, still aware of his hard-on, decided to initiate things a bit faster. He kept his hands on Kaneki’s hips as he placed open-mouth kisses onto the side of his neck, lightly nipping the skin there, but hard enough so it would leave marks that were sure to show even with his uniform back on. As he continued his process onto Kaneki’s shoulder, Hide couldn’t ignore the feeling rising up in him that made him want to suck more, bite harder, play with Kaneki’s skin until it was sure to hurt and Kaneki would scream. His whole body pounded at the thought of it, pushing Kaneki farther and farther until he could only gasp out Hide’s name like he was struggling for air and loving every second of it. Hide wondered if that meant he was both a sadist and a masochist, which he wasn’t sure was possible, but he’d come across his fair share of surprises that day.

Kaneki was making beautiful sounds as Hide attacked his neck and shoulders, and his grip on Kaneki’s hips faltered. His hands dropped down, finding Kaneki’s ass again, but this time he let his hand explore more, until his finger found Kaneki’s asshole. He experimentally poked at it, which resulted in a loud gasp-moan from Kaneki.

“D-don’t just poke at it,” Kaneki breathed out. Hide glanced at his shoulder and saw that his eyes were closed.

Hide hummed against his neck. “What would you rather me do?”

Kaneki’s arms tightened around Hide’s waist as he muttered, “Idiot.”

Hide’s heart soared at the insult.

With one hand still gripping Kaneki’s ass, he centered a finger at Kaneki’s entrance. “Is this okay?” He whispered. When Kaneki nodded, he slowly pushed his finger in, loving the sound of Kaneki’s ah in response. Hide couldn’t help but ah himself when he felt how warm Kaneki was around his finger, how almost-snug. It was different from how he’d imagined it (not that Hide made a habit of picturing himself fingering his best friend) – mostly because the present Kaneki’s reactions were much more real than the Kaneki inside his head. 

It could almost be labeled as a kind of power; it made Hide think of that famous quote from that guy named Newt-or-something-like-that: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. When he moved his finger in and out, Kaneki would dig his fingers into Hide’s skin and make a type of noise that was so sexual, Hide couldn’t describe it. When he curled his finger inside him, Kaneki would breath Hide’s name against his ear, and when Hide sunk his finger as deep as he could into that tight ass, Kaneki whimpered a word Hide couldn’t hear over the sound of both their hearts.

Granted, it took several seconds, but eventually Hide could make out what Kaneki was saying: “Another.” He panted into Hide’s ear, repeating that same request, eventually clarifying it more to, “Add another.”

Hide realized what Kaneki was asking, and almost stopped his hand’s movements because of it. “Are you sure?” He asked, because he knew (from his many hours spent on the Internet) that taking more than one finger was where it began to hurt, or at least feel strange, for the person on the receiving end. 

“Do you have to ask every time?” Kaneki replied, clearly impatient, but still kind with his tone. “Yes.”

And Hide – well, Hide couldn’t argue with Kaneki when he voice sounded like he’d just sucked three dicks and then choked on the cum, so he wasted no time in pulling his finger out and lining up two in its place. When he pushed in, it felt tighter, but no less warm, and he was suddenly hit with a powerful urge to see what it felt like to his dick – but that would have to wait.

“Oh…ah – Hide – “ Kaneki’s sentences were falling apart; it crossed Hide as ironic, considering how literate Kaneki was.

Hide moved his fingers again, pulling in and out, in and out, spreading them slightly to work on stretching Kaneki’s asshole. He suddenly understood why “ASMR” was becoming so popular recently – there was absolutely nothing he loved more than hearing his best friend’s whispers and whimpers against the inside of his ear. 

Best friend, Hide thought to himself. A part of him still didn’t believe it, still didn’t believe that Kaneki was actually there, sitting naked on his lap with a raging erection and his ass around Hide’s fingers. Ever since he’d become a ghoul, Kaneki seemed so far away, and it was no longer because Hide could only picture them getting intimate. Ever since Kaneki started wearing that eyepatch, Hide felt like he was reaching for Kaneki underwater, while Kaneki stood on the surface and didn’t notice the person struggling beneath him. He was getting farther and farther away with every inch Hide reached, every shout of his name Hide yelled. And Hide’s heart was sinking even faster.

So he just couldn’t believe it, how close Kaneki was to him. How their bodies were touching like this, how their mouths found each other and passed an unseen promise between them, how Kaneki was the one calling Hide’s name over and over. Was it even real?

With those thoughts in mind, Hide forgot to ask before he added a third finger without warning. Kaneki’s moans increased in volume, and Hide couldn’t deny he liked it when he nibbled on Hide’s ear.

“It hurts,” Kaneki breathed each syllable, clutching to Hide’s skin. Hide’s immediate first thought was abort, and though he was going to miss the warm heat of Kaneki’s ass, he started to pull out his fingers; but then a hand grabbed his wrist, and Hide looked up in surprise and Kaneki staring down at him.

“Idiot,” Kaneki said. The breeze blew his hair in front of his right eye. “Don’t stop.”

He didn’t give Hide much of a chance to argue, as he used his hold on Hide’s wrist to push his fingers back in deep. Hide’s dick throbbed at just the thought of Kaneki using him to finger himself, and he almost didn’t realize that Kaneki wanted him to move his hand. And once he complied – Kaneki smiled. His face red, his kakugan flared, his hair messy, his shirt and vest hanging off his shoulder sweaty, he smiled, a smile that Hide was pretty sure melted his heart and he needed to do something about the remnants dripping into stomach. All he could do in response was kiss him, kiss those already abused lips and decide that even if his heart melted, he’d still have the memory of that smile in his mind.

Hide really couldn’t get enough of kissing Kaneki, how his lips weren’t exactly smooth, but they were certainly soft and rounded, like he used chapstick several times a day (Hide figured it was probably because he had so much liquid pass over his lips every day, with his coffee obsession and diet that relies majorly on blood). He loved the feeling it sent through his body, that thrill and quiet longing that reminded Hide of dangerous adventures that make your head spin and your heart pound, but in a good way. Kaneki was his dangerous adventure, one that he wanted to travel until he was gasping for breath and couldn’t walk another step. Hide got that kind of feeling when they kissed, but instead of causing him to want to give up, it instead encouraged him to love him more.

Several careful hand movements later, Kaneki was pulling away from Hide’s searching mouth to whisper, “Hide…I’m ready…I want more.”

Hide forgot they were outside for a moment, instead being too distracted by the pounding of his heart in his ears, the obnoxiously loud sound of his own breathing, and his untouched erection that desperately needed attention. The weight of what they were doing suddenly crashed into him all at once like a hurricane: Hide would be taking his best friend’s virginity as well as his own (if you could lose your virginity by sticking it in) the very same day they had confessed (confessed? Is that what you would call allowing each other to suck the other’s face off?). There was a brief moment where the thought of what happened after this crossed his mind, but Hide quickly threw those complications out of his head for the time beings; he didn’t want to think about it yet. Right now, all Hide was concerned about was Kaneki and what he wanted. He wanted to please Kaneki so badly it hurt.

Hide withdrew his fingers from the warmth of Kaneki’s ass and let his hands rest on Kaneki’s thighs. He stared up at that adorable yet alluring face. “Okay,” he said, forcing his heartbeat to just stay calm for a moment. “But I’m worried about hurting you.”

“You’ve already, um, stretched me enough,” Kaneki answered, a little quiet. It seemed like saying things like stretched still embarrassed him, even after the amount of sexual activities they’d already done.

Hide frowned. “I’m still worried.” He would always be worried about Kaneki’s comfort, even if he did have a few sexual fantasies that involved sadism.

Kaneki frowned back at him, not saying anything. After a few seconds of silence, Hide wondered if this was going to turn into a frowning war – something he would be completely ready to do it if it weren’t for his hard and in need of fucking a certain Kaneki Ken dick. To break the war before it could start, Hide looked away, his eyes happening to fall on the long-forgotten table facing Kaneki’s back – and that was when he got an idea.

Leaning forward, he reached around Kaneki to grab the three-quarters full cup of coffee Kaneki had left there. Kaneki himself changed his frown into a look of confusion. “What are you doing?” he questioned as Hide held up the cup between them.

“I just had the most brilliant idea.” Hide smiled wickedly. “You can thank me later.”

Kaneki was skeptical. “Hide,” he warned.

Hide shushed him and waited a few seconds before announcing his great idea: “We’re going to use your coffee as lube!”

“Hide.” He couldn’t tell if Kaneki was embarrassed or annoyed by Hide’s idea; it was probably both. “We’re not using coffee as lube.”

“Why not? It’s not even hot anymore, it’s warm, and the warm temperature probably feels good when – “

“H-Hide!” Kaneki exclaimed, and the blush on his cheeks confirmed that the embarrassed part of him won. “We’re not doing your crazy idea!”

Hide, if he had to put it into words, felt both aroused and playful at the same time. His idea to use coffee as lube was a joke when he first thought of it, but after saying it out loud, he decided that it actually wouldn’t be so bad. How many people could say that they purposefully poured coffee on their dick? And then proceeded to make love to their best friend with said coffee-covered dick? Not many.

“Come on, Kaneki, live on the edge!” Hide argued. “It’ll feel good! Like this.”

Fighting the urge to laugh, Hide took Kaneki’s hand and pushed his finger into the coffee. Kaneki sputtered in surprise, but didn’t complain about it being hot, which confirmed Hide’s declaration that the coffee had cooled down. He took Kaneki’s finger out of the coffee, and before Kaneki could do anything, he began to lick off all the coffee. Kaneki blushed profusely but didn’t pull away his finger until Hide had lapped up every drop.

“See?” He made direct eye contact with Kaneki, making a show of licking his lips. “It feels good.”

Kaneki opened his mouth to argue, and Hide was going to let him – but then he closed it, seemingly out of things to say. Hide grinned in triumph.

“Now.” He kissed Kaneki for a good three seconds, then pulled away to keep their faces close, but far enough away so Kaneki could get a clear view of their cocks. “You can watch if you’d like.”

When Hide poured the coffee onto his dick, he unintentionally let out a small gasp. The liquid was warm, and it felt surprisingly good as it ran over the length of his dick, dripping onto his thighs. He never knew it was a thing to have a coffee kink, but now that he did, he certainly wasn’t going to lie and say he wouldn’t do this again if the opportunity arose.

Throwing the cup off to the side, Hide rubbed the coffee onto the underside of his erection, making sure it was smooth enough to be just as effective as lube. It didn’t make his sexual desire any better knowing Kaneki had watched him do it the whole time.

He finished, looking back at Kaneki. He brought his (not covered with coffee) hand up to gently touch Kaneki’s face, trying to say everything he couldn’t with his look in that moment. Kaneki stared right back at him, and a sense of comfort settled over Hide.

He leaned forward to kiss the skin next to Kaneki’s kakugan, brushing his dark hair out of his face as he did. “Tell me if you want to stop, okay?” he murmured against his skin.

Kaneki’s mouth curved up. “Okay.”

His heartbeat was too loud and everything was too hot as Hide grasped Kaneki’s ass and lifted him up slightly to position him over his cock. Kaneki sunk down slowly, lowering himself onto Hide’s dick, until he was snug on Hide’s lap and his stomach was centimeters from Hide’s, his dick sandwiched between them. Oh, Hide thought, fuck. It was even more sensual, even hotter, even more incredible than when he entered with his fingers, and just the feeling of Kaneki’s ass squeezing around his dick was enough to make his body burn with a passion he’d never felt before, boiling his blood and sparking pure desire within him. Kaneki was breathing heavily, his hair falling in front of his face again as he leaned his forehead against Hide’s.

Hide tucked that hair behind his ears. “You okay?” he asked gently.

“Yeah,” Kaneki breathed out in a pant, “just…don’t move yet.” 

Though it was hard to, Hide respected Kaneki’s request. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled, drawing Kaneki into his embrace to make him as comfortable as possible. Hide knew they weren’t in the ideal place or position for comfort, but they could blame that on their own eagerness to have all of each other, to share their bodies and grasp on to their hearts throbbing in unison. Even so, Hide wanted to make Kaneki feel good; that’s all he’s ever wanted.

“You know,” he said into Kaneki’s ear, “the first time I ever saw you, I thought to myself, that’s the strongest person I’ve ever seen.” Hide smiled, even though Kaneki couldn’t see him. “You know why? Because I knew, back then, that standing out, doing things by yourself and no one else’s way was true strength.”

Kaneki’s breathing became slightly more even as Hide talked, and Hide felt him relax a little around his dick. “And you’re still the strongest person I know, Kaneki,” Hide continued, “because you still do things how you want. And even when life hits you at full force, you don’t give up.” 

Kaneki’s eyes, which were closed, opened slightly. Hide, out of the corner of his eyes, saw that Kaneki’s kakugan was catching the light and shining in a way that took his breath away. Kaneki exhaled softly, and noticeably relaxed further; his ass didn’t cling at tight to Hide’s dick, his thighs, which were strongly pressed against Hide’s, loosened their grip, and even his hands didn’t dig into Hide’s back so fiercely. He whispered one word against Hide’s skin as he relaxed: “Move.”

Hide kissed Kaneki’s neck lightly, then pressed his fingers into Kaneki’s sharp waist and slowly helped Kaneki raise himself up inch by inch, then lower himself back down onto Hide’s waiting cock. Kaneki’s mouth spilled moans and strings of sentences as Hide did it again, this time a bit faster. Kaneki picked up, quickly, moving up and down without any help from Hide, his gasps of “Oh, a-ah, Hide! Ah!” becomingly increasingly louder as he found a slow rhythm. Hide thrusted his hips up a bit, to plunge deeper with each push and pull, losing himself in the way Kaneki would clench around him.

“Nnngg – H-Hide –“ Kaneki whimpered, threading his fingers in Hide’s hair, “- Faster.”

Hide, who was already floating in his burning heat, lost himself. He thrust his hips up as far as they would go into Kaneki, electing a strong moan from him, as he sunk down and up, down and up, down and up with a ferocity that could only be classified as aggressive. When Hide hit a particular spot inside him, he let out a mangled form of “There!” and Hide knew he’d hit the right spot. Kaneki pulled on Hide’s hair, sinking his teeth into Hide’s shoulder as Hide worked to plunge into him, into that spot, with a power to impress the gods. It was so, so hot, Hide felt like there was a fire ripping through him, and he willingly let it consume him, pressing so close to Kaneki that the fire spread through him too.

Hide was so lost in the way it felt, the way Kaneki massaged his dick, the way Kaneki clung to him like he was his only lifeline, that he barely had the mindset to grasp Kaneki’s dick stuck in between them and starting pumping it, rubbing it up and down and letting the precum run down his hand. While hitting Kaneki’s sweet spot over and over, he thumbed the head of his dick, massaging it and bringing Kaneki closer to him in yet another way.  
“Hide! Ah, Hide!” Kaneki was repeating his name over and over, unable to speak any other words. Hide could barely hear the name over his own cries of, “K-Kaneki! Shit, Kaneki!”

Kaneki spoke against the shoulder he’d bitten. Hide didn’t even notice the wet bite mark he had left. “H-Hide – ah – I’m close –“

“Me too, shit, me too – “ Hide gasped in response, pulling nearly all the way out, only to thrust back in up to the hilt, burying himself as deep as was possible. His mind was swarming, full of thoughts of Kaneki, of how he’d never felt this good in his entire life, how it was all still surreal; 

And as he came inside Kaneki, hard and with a force that shook his body, Hide called Kaneki’s name out like a battle cry, a battle that he was the only one fighting. Hide wanted to scream for Kaneki, scream and scream until Kaneki realized that he was in this war too, he was the reason for Hide’s fighting, and know that it’s so much harder to fight a battle yourself when your opponent doesn’t even realize they’re on the battle field. He so desperately wanted Kaneki to fight as well, fight to end Hide’s battle; he so desperately wanted Kaneki to just hear Hide’s battle cry and finally come marching home.

Kaneki cried out Hide’s name at the exact same time as he came, shooting white over his own chest, shaking with his orgasm. It was several seconds before Kaneki lifted his head from Hide’s shoulder, and when he did, Hide went for his lips. The kiss they shared was somehow more intimate than any previous one, filling Hide’s heart and body with electricity and the unspoken truth of the insane number of lines they’ve crossed ever since Hide leaned over that first time and captured Kaneki’s mouth just like this. 

They pulled away a fair amount of time later, only for Hide to remember that it must have been incredibly uncomfortable for Kaneki to still have Hide’s now-softened dick up his ass. He nudged Kaneki’s thighs up, and Kaneki got the hint, raising himself off Hide’s dick to settle back down on Hide’s thighs. Hide smiled at him, somehow not very tired out.

“You okay?” he asked, lacing their fingers together.

Kaneki nodded, looking at their joined hands, then back up at Hide, and smiling himself. “You’re amazing, Hide.”

A surge of happiness flowed through Hide, and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing Kaneki all over; his neck, his chest, his arm, he flitted tiny kisses onto Kaneki’s skin. Kaneki giggled (yes, giggled) and lamely tried to push Hide away. “Hide, that feels weird.”

Hide grinned against his skin, and for a moment, just a fleeting second in the billions passing by, everything was perfect.

“We’re not telling anyone we did this, right?”

And that’s when the perfect moment was ruined, and Hide’s heart sank.

Kaneki hadn’t heard Hide’s battle cry after all.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
